








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4130 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3107 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1894 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2597 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,068 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 66% | 64 |
| #2 | Kerim | 64% | 70 |
| #3 | Alec | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | ^4C h r i s | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | worstplayer | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Alec | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | ^4C h r i s | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | worstplayer | 54% | 24 |
| #6 | sibylle | 52% | 154 |
| #7 | ✪ Frozen® | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sibylle | 17 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | worstplayer | 5 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Kerim | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^4C h r i s | 227 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | sibylle | 204 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kerim | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Frozen® | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^4C h r i s | +2.03 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ Frozen® | +1.79 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | zeko | +1.11 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Alec | +0.77 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | Kerim | -0.33 | 79 | 63 |





