








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4523 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4040 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3328 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,085 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basics | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Brax. | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | AxL L#0 | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Elium945 | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | A.D | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Don Jassdecheat | 45% | 101 |
| #14 | Aki | 43% | 196 |
| #15 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 42% | 83 |
| #16 | ♿ froZenn__ | 40% | 25 |
| #17 | MaladCSGO | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/zesnyetzerfty | 9 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | A.D | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | volt | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | _soO | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki | 962 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | volt | 855 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | Brax. | 444 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #4 | _soO | 408 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | A.D | 279 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | +3.12 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | light | +2.42 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/zesnyetzerfty | +1.44 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Brax. | +0.90 | 87 | 85 |
| #5 | volt | +0.86 | 69 | 63 |





