








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2511 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3012 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2413 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2585 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,964 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazgûl | 48% | 152 |
| #2 | eQuiXo | 48% | 121 |
| #3 | .platon | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | MacDaddy | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 45% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 45% | 128 |
| #6 | Missalot | 44% | 68 |
| #7 | Oldp80 | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Meistr | 42% | 71 |
| #9 | Mr.Nielsen | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbagazza | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | .platon | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | eQuiXo | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Nazgûl | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Meistr | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Missalot | 199 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Meistr | 198 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | .platon | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | eQuiXo | 95 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 77 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazgûl | +1.04 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | Meistr | +0.81 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | Missalot | +0.27 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Oldp80 | +0.01 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | -0.33 | 48 | 66 |





