








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 25% |
| Smokes | 617 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,349 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbagazza | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Mr.Nielsen | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Oldp80 | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Ping pong show | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | Nazgûl | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ping pong show | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | Nazgûl | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | Meistr | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | eQuiXo | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | Missalot | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping pong show | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Nazgûl | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Rabbagazza | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Meistr | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping pong show | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Meistr | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Missalot | 58 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | eQuiXo | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nazgûl | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazgûl | +1.12 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | Missalot | +0.73 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Meistr | +0.63 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Oldp80 | +0.07 | 70 | 70 |
| #5 | eQuiXo | -0.26 | 62 | 64 |





