








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2072 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3423 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2605 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2686 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,208 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Missalot | 45% | 91 |
| #8 | eQuiXo | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | .platon | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Ping pong show | 42% | 71 |
| #11 | Nazgûl | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Nielsen | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Ping pong show | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | MacDaddy | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Missalot | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Missalot | 319 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | MacDaddy | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ping pong show | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mr.Nielsen | 86 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +2.59 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | Meistr | +1.02 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Nazgûl | +1.02 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Mr.Nielsen | +0.38 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Missalot | +0.06 | 83 | 72 |





