








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1805 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,714 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eQuiXo | 49% | 102 |
| #2 | Ping pong show | 48% | 152 |
| #3 | Rabbagazza | 46% | 96 |
| #4 | .platon | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Mr.Nielsen | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | .platon | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Mr.Nielsen | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Meistr | 42% | 60 |
| #7 | Missalot | 42% | 53 |
| #8 | Oldp80 | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping pong show | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Rabbagazza | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | .platon | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | eQuiXo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping pong show | 233 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Meistr | 176 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Missalot | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | .platon | 125 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | eQuiXo | 80 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazgûl | +1.05 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | Meistr | +0.35 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | Missalot | +0.25 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | eQuiXo | -0.09 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Oldp80 | -0.28 | 83 | 67 |





