








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4274 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4832 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2941 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4184 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,107 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | me1str | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | Rabbagazza | 50% | 143 |
| #4 | eQuiXo | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | MacDaddy | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbagazza | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Mr.Nielsen | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Parzi | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Meistr | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ping pong show | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meistr | 244 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | me1str | 179 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rabbagazza | 125 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | MacDaddy | 124 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr.Nielsen | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +3.22 | 65 | 71 |
| #2 | me1str | +1.87 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | Nazgûl | +0.84 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Meistr | +0.83 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Missalot | +0.74 | 84 | 71 |





