








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2184 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3835 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3240 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4251 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,818 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Nazgûl | 46% | 96 |
| #11 | Ping pong show | 45% | 128 |
| #12 | andyq | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | Greedybastard | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Oldp80 | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping pong show | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Mr.Nielsen | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | .platon | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Meistr | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | eQuiXo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Missalot | 523 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Meistr | 267 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | me1str | 240 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | MacDaddy | 206 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ping pong show | 194 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +2.59 | 62 | 69 |
| #2 | Nazgûl | +1.22 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | me1str | +1.15 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | Meistr | +0.86 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | Oldp80 | +0.84 | 84 | 69 |





