








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6605 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6200 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4761 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4106 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,226 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gregg the Egg | 41% | 66 |
| #2 | Jok3r | 31% | 42 |
| #3 | fuLLi | 28% | 47 |
| #4 | Zodsmar | 26% | 31 |
| #5 | what12who | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gregg the Egg | 41% | 66 |
| #2 | Jok3r | 31% | 42 |
| #3 | fuLLi | 28% | 47 |
| #4 | Zodsmar | 26% | 31 |
| #5 | what12who | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gregg the Egg | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | fuLLi | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Jok3r | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Zodsmar | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuLLi | 158 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jok3r | 148 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gregg the Egg | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | what12who | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zodsmar | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuLLi | +3.50 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | Gentleman Jim | -0.15 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Zodsmar | -0.84 | 19 | 67 |
| #4 | Gregg the Egg | -1.34 | 53 | 54 |
| #5 | what12who | -1.60 | 46 | 54 |





