








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3161 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6761 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5707 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,839,387 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓡𝓪𝔁 | 42% | 55 |
| #2 | Gregg the Egg | 39% | 411 |
| #3 | Jok3r | 39% | 259 |
| #4 | fuLLi | 39% | 399 |
| #5 | what12who | 37% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gregg the Egg | 39% | 411 |
| #3 | Jok3r | 39% | 259 |
| #4 | fuLLi | 39% | 399 |
| #5 | what12who | 37% | 232 |
| #6 | Gentleman Jim | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gregg the Egg | 30 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | fuLLi | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Jok3r | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | 𝓡𝓪𝔁 | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Gentleman Jim | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuLLi | 1512 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #2 | Jok3r | 1002 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | Gregg the Egg | 898 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | what12who | 464 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | 𝓡𝓪𝔁 | 257 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuLLi | +3.26 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | Jok3r | -0.98 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | 𝓡𝓪𝔁 | -1.12 | 44 | 52 |
| #4 | Gregg the Egg | -1.14 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Zodsmar | -1.23 | 26 | 65 |





