








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1162 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 408 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1041 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,656 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LowSensLoser | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Tyebo | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | NBA YungSlatt | 52% | 194 |
| #4 | luigi mangione | 46% | 145 |
| #5 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | 40% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBA YungSlatt | 555 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | 503 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Clutch | 242 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tyebo | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | dj beanflick | 72 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBA YungSlatt | +6.30 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Tyebo | +3.95 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | LowSensLoser | +3.75 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | dj beanflick | +1.16 | 36 | 44 |
| #5 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | +0.73 | 31 | 69 |





