








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6869 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3307 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4811 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4130 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,091 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LowSensLoser | 64% | 69 |
| #2 | Noname | 59% | 135 |
| #3 | Tyebo | 57% | 129 |
| #4 | Noname | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | Bucky | 54% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyebo | 27 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | rose | 16 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Thick Thighs Bucky 2.0 | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Danklord420 | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Bucky | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick Thighs Bucky 2.0 | 599 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tyebo | 431 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Clutch | 309 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bucky | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | LowSensLoser | 131 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr0fane | +4.74 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | Tyebo | +3.02 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | LowSensLoser | +2.29 | 71 | 45 |
| #4 | Bucky | -0.21 | 33 | 64 |
| #5 | Thick Thighs Bucky 2.0 | -0.32 | 28 | 63 |





