








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1978 | 35% |
| Smokes | 938 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1891 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 922 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,117 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBA YungSlatt | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | Schaef | 50% | 216 |
| #3 | Tyebo | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | dj beanflick | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tyebo | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | dj beanflick | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | luigi mangione | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Danklord420 | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schaef | 56 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Tyebo | 10 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | NBA YungSlatt | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | dj beanflick | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Danklord420 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schaef | 210 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | dj beanflick | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | NBA YungSlatt | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | 107 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tyebo | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBA YungSlatt | +4.30 | 61 | 54 |
| #2 | Tyebo | +3.95 | 62 | 64 |
| #3 | Schaef | +2.83 | 69 | 36 |
| #4 | dj beanflick | +1.62 | 38 | 42 |
| #5 | Scooby-Doo(Pwned) | -0.29 | 35 | 69 |





