








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 500 | 31% |
| Smokes | 284 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 449 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,446 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π²πΌπ± | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | thebiggestantt | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Β₯ jaCe | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | nawny | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Friendle | 67% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nawny | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Friendle | 67% | 33 |
| #6 | Tboc13 | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | Kyouki | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | I3LUFF | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyouki | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Tboc13 | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendle | 120 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | thebiggestantt | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tboc13 | 28 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kyouki | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Β₯ jaCe | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JCasper | +3.86 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | I3LUFF | +3.55 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | thebiggestantt | +2.20 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Β₯ jaCe | +1.39 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | Friendle | +1.37 | 70 | 70 |





