








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2337 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1401 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1572 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1664 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,808 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JCasper | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | 6CG | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | john dick | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Friendle | 63% | 78 |
| #5 | rovuh | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JoeyMinecraft18 | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | Kyouki | 54% | 93 |
| #8 | ¥ jaCe | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | ConnorRF | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | kage | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rovuh | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | 6CG | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | kage | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | ¥ jaCe | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Kyouki | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendle | 311 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kyouki | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | rovuh | 169 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | 6CG | 156 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #5 | john dick | 113 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JCasper | +2.21 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Friendle | +2.02 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | 6CG | +1.13 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | thebiggestantt | +1.01 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | john dick | +0.65 | 75 | 67 |





