








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 17% |
| Smokes | 421 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 27 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,564 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 49% | 35 |
| #2 | Coffee | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | ThraXy | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | M.U.N.G. | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | n0ize | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | GafTape | 21% | 19 |
| #16 | Piss | 21% | 19 |
| #17 | Ash | 20% | 49 |
| #18 | Girth Brooks | 20% | 35 |
| #19 | deztrukt | 4% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | GafTape | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | n0ize | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Piss | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Ash | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 186 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Summer | 175 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | HinkieBall | 94 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | deztrukt | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Girth Brooks | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | +6.36 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | n0ize | +4.58 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | toaster | +4.03 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | Aimer | +3.08 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | M.U.N.G. | +2.02 | 86 | 66 |





