








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3590 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3578 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3052 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,002,516 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BAGELS- | 56% | 124 |
| #11 | uG.Railroad | 55% | 80 |
| #12 | nok | 54% | 71 |
| #13 | FanaticDuck | 50% | 46 |
| #14 | Koh:) | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kabLe | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | bango | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | jackson4th | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | 1gedz | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | BAGELS- | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | 550 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | 1gedz | 478 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | n1 N1h0N | 442 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | uG.Railroad | 388 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | jackson4th | 293 | 0.16 | 7 min |





