








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 408 matches | ||
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8771 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8371 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3985 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 7549 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,803,631 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jishoa | 64% | 67 |
| #2 | tarquin | 63% | 88 |
| #3 | Koh:) | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | 1gedz | 58% | 236 |
| #5 | bango | 54% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BAGELS- | 54% | 299 |
| #7 | n1 N1h0N | 53% | 272 |
| #8 | Yakub | 53% | 80 |
| #9 | cam | 48% | 93 |
| #10 | bdizzle™∞105ms | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1 N1h0N | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | 1gedz | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | BAGELS- | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | tarquin | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | bango | 8 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | 1226 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | n1 N1h0N | 1222 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #3 | 1gedz | 1047 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | bango | 524 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #5 | jishoa | 333 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | +1.37 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | n1 N1h0N | +1.29 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | jishoa | +1.05 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | jackson4th | +0.95 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | 1gedz | +0.91 | 74 | 56 |





