








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2153 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3740 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2997 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,944,277 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apinalokki | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | J | 54% | 180 |
| #3 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | John | 53% | 87 |
| #5 | Jeip | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | J | 54% | 180 |
| #3 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | John | 53% | 87 |
| #5 | Jeip | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | yuQi | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | John | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Varg Vikernes | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Jeip | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | yuQi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 649 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | J | 423 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jeip | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | John | 129 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | yuQi | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuQi | +3.14 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Varg Vikernes | +1.10 | 53 | 81 |
| #3 | apinalokki | +0.81 | 60 | 80 |
| #4 | Jeip | +0.71 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | J | +0.54 | 50 | 62 |





