








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3734 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4966 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1023 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1252 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,688 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zill | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | spongemon9 | 56% | 108 |
| #3 | Stripez | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | King Glizzy | 51% | 101 |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 51% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 51% | 220 |
| #6 | Xyro Clash.gg | 51% | 49 |
| #7 | longbong710 | 50% | 143 |
| #8 | Tillimanjaro | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | wenches | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waddle19352 | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | King Glizzy | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | spongemon9 | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Xyro Clash.gg | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | wenches | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waddle19352 | 550 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | spongemon9 | 297 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | King Glizzy | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stripez | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | wenches | 153 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zill | +3.96 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | spongemon9 | +2.82 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | King Glizzy | +1.95 | 77 | 44 |
| #4 | Waddle19352 | +0.02 | 49 | 59 |
| #5 | wenches | -0.25 | 53 | 56 |





