








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2439 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3605 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4692 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,041 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | longbong710 | 48% | 166 |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 47% | 92 |
| #6 | Stripez | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | zill | 45% | 33 |
| #8 | King Glizzy | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waddle19352 | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | longbong710 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | spongemon9 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Stripez | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | piksel | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waddle19352 | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | longbong710 | 213 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | spongemon9 | 133 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stripez | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | piksel | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |





