








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 543 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2945 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2090 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 707 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,284,219 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spongemon9 | 61% | 94 |
| #2 | WamblingAxe | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | piksel | 51% | 101 |
| #4 | Waddle19352 | 51% | 179 |
| #5 | Stripez | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 43% | 91 |
| #10 | leenut butter | 42% | 115 |
| #11 | wenches | 39% | 59 |
| #12 | SuperChicken | 38% | 40 |
| #13 | Tillimanjaro | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waddle19352 | 18 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Stripez | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | leenut butter | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | spongemon9 | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | piksel | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 530 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | Waddle19352 | 472 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | leenut butter | 443 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | piksel | 323 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | spongemon9 | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Glizzy | +2.17 | 79 | 45 |
| #2 | spongemon9 | +2.09 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | WamblingAxe | +1.20 | 50 | 54 |
| #4 | Darthmay6 | +0.53 | 23 | 51 |
| #5 | SuperChicken | -0.08 | 65 | 51 |





