








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1224 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1377 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,106 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LINNO | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | Cynixia | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 84% | 43 |
| #4 | deadset | 83% | 12 |
| #5 | TA | aero | 83% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | S T A R | 72% | 47 |
| #10 | Flattsful | 71% | 69 |
| #11 | mitzy!!! | 68% | 34 |
| #12 | aNimE | 67% | 9 |
| #13 | Zacheraay | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crackbaby<3 | 9 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Flattsful | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | S T A R | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | mitzy!!! | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flattsful | 336 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Crackbaby<3 | 221 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | TA | aero | 181 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | S T A R | 153 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOST IN THE WORLD | +6.37 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | LINNO | +3.93 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | deadset | +2.70 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | CC3ptic-12-<ASUS> | +2.38 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Flattsful | +2.31 | 94 | 61 |





