








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1486 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1218 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1408 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,310 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TA | aero | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Jamie- | 90% | 10 |
| #3 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | c4put-- | 75% | 32 |
| #5 | CC3ptic-12-<ASUS> | 74% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Flattsful | 68% | 111 |
| #9 | Coach Parnell | 67% | 12 |
| #10 | con | 67% | 12 |
| #11 | mitzy!!! | 66% | 35 |
| #12 | Haxor | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flattsful | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | con | 5 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | S T A R | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 4 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Zacheraay | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flattsful | 536 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | S T A R | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | CC3ptic-12-<ASUS> | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | mitzy!!! | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | c4put-- | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamie- | +5.15 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | Haxor | +3.11 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | LOST IN THE WORLD | +2.80 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Flattsful | +2.29 | 93 | 64 |
| #5 | S T A R | +1.95 | 87 | 68 |





