








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2487 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2251 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1976 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,672 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | detox | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Alimo | 73% | 22 |
| #4 | Creachur | 72% | 25 |
| #5 | Hyperal | 70% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steaux | 238 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fwyer | 227 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hyperal | 149 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | n0ize | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Huron | 78 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detox | +4.86 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Hyperal | +2.98 | 94 | 47 |
| #3 | smiths | +2.75 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | n0ize | +1.94 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | Creachur | +1.89 | 79 | 72 |





