








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 980 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10245 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11293 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9102 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9905 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,084,663 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kernel | 64% | 89 |
| #2 | Cicolini | 59% | 102 |
| #3 | Toast | 58% | 89 |
| #4 | Iceyd00d | 55% | 99 |
| #5 | 1glock | 54% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | | 53% | 64 |
| #8 | minority | 53% | 147 |
| #9 | Cakir | 53% | 139 |
| #10 | king geedorah | 52% | 69 |
| #11 | FusiioN | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1glock | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Cakir | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | minority | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Toast | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | CUDDY666 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast | 603 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #2 | 1glock | 580 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Cakir | 567 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | FusiioN | 451 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | minority | 393 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kernel | +2.92 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | +2.04 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | king geedorah | +2.00 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Toast | +1.55 | 74 | 78 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | +0.24 | 76 | 60 |





