








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2968 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3480 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2909 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,604 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | king geedorah | 52% | 61 |
| #8 | xenkw0n | 52% | 197 |
| #9 | 1glock | 52% | 71 |
| #10 | Masco | 50% | 42 |
| #11 | busE | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xenkw0n | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | hak | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | minority | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Axe | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 373 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | minority | 320 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | mjm15cs | 294 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | king geedorah | 248 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | xenkw0n | 232 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king geedorah | +2.14 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | +2.02 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | xenkw0n | +1.18 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | Axe | +0.93 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | minority | +0.38 | 71 | 60 |





