








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 396 matches | ||
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4949 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4843 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5610 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3085 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,860,172 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 54% | 314 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | 52% | 71 |
| #3 | minority | 51% | 117 |
| #4 | king geedorah | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | CUDDY666 | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 54% | 314 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | 52% | 71 |
| #3 | minority | 51% | 117 |
| #4 | king geedorah | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | CUDDY666 | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CUDDY666 | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | mjm15cs | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | minority | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Iceyd00d | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 887 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | CUDDY666 | 338 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | minority | 299 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | king geedorah | 240 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Iceyd00d | 195 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king geedorah | +1.88 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | +1.54 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | mjm15cs | +0.22 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | 1glock | +0.18 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | minority | +0.13 | 73 | 60 |





