








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2700 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2623 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2352 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3065 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,438 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hak | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | xenkw0n | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Iceyd00d | 55% | 131 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | 53% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Iceyd00d | 55% | 131 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | 53% | 147 |
| #6 | king geedorah | 52% | 66 |
| #7 | 1glock | 51% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | 1glock | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | hak | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | king geedorah | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 441 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | 315 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | king geedorah | 259 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | 1glock | 213 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 102 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king geedorah | +2.12 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | +1.80 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | xenkw0n | +1.22 | 58 | 35 |
| #4 | minority | +0.58 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | mjm15cs | +0.09 | 75 | 60 |





