








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5052 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6374 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4171 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5834 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,414,970 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 599 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesie Bigs | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | -maxDS- | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | Zoom | 63% | 72 |
| #4 | FusiioN | 62% | 125 |
| #5 | clev. | 60% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa pig | 27 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | seemitch | 11 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | clev. | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Tony | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Toast | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast | 805 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | clev. | 592 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #3 | mjm15cs | 489 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | FusiioN | 468 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | Cicolini | 410 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seemitch | +2.90 | 84 | 43 |
| #2 | -maxDS- | +2.70 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | clev. | +1.59 | 87 | 65 |
| #4 | zeeK | +1.29 | 78 | 79 |
| #5 | EDGE | +1.25 | 73 | 61 |





