








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 308 matches | ||
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9418 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6256 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8082 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7602 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,045,402 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fambino | 62% | 77 |
| #2 | gamble | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | AngelMichael | 56% | 140 |
| #4 | dexa! | 56% | 151 |
| #5 | ☕ | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Toste | 54% | 232 |
| #7 | Glimpus | 54% | 72 |
| #8 | genka | 54% | 584 |
| #9 | Stickytoe | 53% | 315 |
| #10 | boosh | 53% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stickytoe | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | genka | 14 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Toste | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | boosh | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | AngelMichael | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | genka | 751 | 0.06 | 22 min |
| #2 | boosh | 614 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Toste | 551 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Stickytoe | 494 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | gamble | 296 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamble | +4.45 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | AngelMichael | +2.18 | 94 | 61 |
| #3 | boosh | +1.28 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | AJay | +0.64 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | genka | +0.55 | 75 | 76 |





