








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4389 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3470 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4673 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3600 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,560 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☕ | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Chilihuahua | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | fambino | 57% | 80 |
| #4 | boosh | 56% | 182 |
| #5 | NovaScopeOne | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | AJay | 54% | 232 |
| #9 | AngelMichael | 54% | 59 |
| #10 | Glimpus | 53% | 40 |
| #11 | dexa! | 52% | 92 |
| #12 | hoobody | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stickytoe | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | boosh | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | genka | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | AJay | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | dexa! | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJay | 744 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | boosh | 463 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | genka | 381 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | Stickytoe | 357 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | fambino | 274 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boosh | +3.13 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | AngelMichael | +2.49 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | genka | +1.23 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | fambino | +1.04 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | AJay | +1.00 | 81 | 75 |





