








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19 | 6% |
| Smokes | 69 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 124 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 96 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,882 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jebadooba | 37% | 19 |
| #2 | guppy_gamer489 | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Amylase | 23% | 39 |
| #4 | pineapplee | 21% | 38 |
| #5 | Abatukam | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Amylase | 23% | 39 |
| #4 | pineapplee | 21% | 38 |
| #5 | Abatukam | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | Stuff my Oreo | 0% | 3 |
| #7 | Mark | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abatukam | 8 | 0.0721 |
| #2 | Amylase | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Jebadooba | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Mark | 2 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | guppy_gamer489 | 2 | 0.0317 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jebadooba | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Abatukam | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Stuff my Oreo | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mark | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | pineapplee | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guppy_gamer489 | +5.52 | 55 | 5 |
| #2 | Mark | +3.50 | 84 | 30 |
| #3 | Jebadooba | +1.49 | 45 | 42 |
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | +1.38 | 78 | 31 |
| #5 | Abatukam | +0.83 | 43 | 40 |





