








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3 | 0% |
| Smokes | 23 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 76% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,085 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | guppy_gamer489 | 33% | 18 |
| #8 | Mark | 30% | 23 |
| #9 | Amylase | 30% | 76 |
| #10 | Uncle Jemima | 21% | 38 |
| #11 | Abatukam | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 22 | 0.0524 |
| #2 | Amylase | 15 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Abatukam | 15 | 0.0464 |
| #4 | Jebadooba | 12 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | guppy_gamer489 | 6 | 0.0178 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jebadooba | 140 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Abatukam | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mark | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Amylase | 6 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | +3.27 | 92 | 29 |
| #2 | Jebadooba | +2.07 | 50 | 44 |
| #3 | guppy_gamer489 | +1.96 | 67 | 10 |
| #4 | Amylase | +0.91 | 74 | 16 |
| #5 | DailyRPG | +0.61 | 33 | 28 |





