








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2799 | 39% |
| Smokes | 403 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2257 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,146 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guppy_gamer489 | 49% | 85 |
| #2 | Mark | 49% | 161 |
| #3 | Abatukam | 44% | 61 |
| #4 | DailyRPG | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Amylase | 43% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DailyRPG | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Amylase | 43% | 132 |
| #6 | Stuff my Oreo | 39% | 56 |
| #7 | pineapplee | 39% | 54 |
| #8 | Uncle Jemima | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 89 | 0.0301 |
| #2 | Abatukam | 33 | 0.0267 |
| #3 | Amylase | 30 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | guppy_gamer489 | 26 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Stuff my Oreo | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abatukam | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mark | 166 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stuff my Oreo | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | guppy_gamer489 | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Amylase | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | +3.33 | 88 | 35 |
| #2 | guppy_gamer489 | +1.60 | 71 | 20 |
| #3 | Amylase | +0.68 | 75 | 22 |
| #4 | Jebadooba | +0.35 | 51 | 49 |
| #5 | Abatukam | +0.15 | 57 | 64 |





