








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 139 | 7% |
| Smokes | 98 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,650 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 46% | 140 |
| #2 | Jebadooba | 43% | 132 |
| #3 | guppy_gamer489 | 40% | 72 |
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | 37% | 90 |
| #5 | Abatukam | 33% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | 37% | 90 |
| #5 | Abatukam | 33% | 85 |
| #6 | emmables | 32% | 19 |
| #7 | pineapplee | 30% | 76 |
| #8 | Uncle Jemima | 23% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 113 | 0.0426 |
| #2 | Abatukam | 50 | 0.0293 |
| #3 | Jebadooba | 31 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | guppy_gamer489 | 30 | 0.0210 |
| #5 | Stuff my Oreo | 13 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jebadooba | 374 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Abatukam | 250 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mark | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stuff my Oreo | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | emmables | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | +2.79 | 90 | 30 |
| #2 | guppy_gamer489 | +0.74 | 73 | 19 |
| #3 | Amylase | +0.54 | 73 | 20 |
| #4 | Jebadooba | +0.47 | 53 | 48 |
| #5 | Abatukam | -0.38 | 52 | 61 |





