








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




187 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4863 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3041 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3513 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2422 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,302,293 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1055 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark | 106 | 0.0434 |
| #2 | guppy_gamer489 | 32 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Amylase | 29 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | Litty Jamitty | 24 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Jebadooba | 23 | 0.0186 |





