








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1059 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,477 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahbaah | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | sn0w | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Λύπη | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Turteh | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | Gizelli | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Aleybongo | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | jwma | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | p0nz | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | whiteBOY69 | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Kmt | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | jwma | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | housecat | 541 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Turteh | 208 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gizelli | 176 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Λύπη | 175 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | p0nz | 164 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | +2.37 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | p0nz | +1.67 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | jwma | +1.57 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | housecat | +0.74 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Turteh | +0.28 | 73 | 63 |





