








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 664 matches | ||
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3550 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6990 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9293 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 6566 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,120,168 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | 63% | 83 |
| #2 | p0nz | 59% | 80 |
| #3 | whiteBOY69 | 57% | 79 |
| #4 | Kmt | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | John Shelby | 55% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Turteh | 52% | 149 |
| #9 | Λύπη | 51% | 473 |
| #10 | shtick | 50% | 142 |
| #11 | Steely | 47% | 78 |
| #12 | MediuMST33LE | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Shelby | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Λύπη | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | shtick | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Steely | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Turteh | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λύπη | 1033 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | Turteh | 668 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | housecat | 663 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | Kuro | 394 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | p0nz | 316 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | +2.13 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Turteh | +1.54 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Kuro | +0.89 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | housecat | +0.66 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | whiteBOY69 | +0.59 | 69 | 62 |





