








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2412 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3247 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2006 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,709 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | Aleybongo | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | shtick | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Turteh | 61% | 92 |
| #5 | Λύπη | 60% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | housecat | 57% | 237 |
| #9 | jwma | 55% | 67 |
| #10 | Eggman23 | 54% | 50 |
| #11 | Kmt | 49% | 69 |
| #12 | Ahbaah | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwma | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | housecat | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Turteh | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Aleybongo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | p0nz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | housecat | 1018 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | p0nz | 524 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Turteh | 462 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kmt | 260 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Λύπη | 247 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | +2.40 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | jwma | +1.61 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | Turteh | +0.55 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | p0nz | +0.33 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | whiteBOY69 | +0.24 | 73 | 59 |





