








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 643 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6032 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7620 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5764 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4543 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,924,485 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahbaah | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | Albanian Demon | 65% | 60 |
| #3 | sn0w | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | whiteBOY69 | 64% | 135 |
| #5 | Turteh | 58% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Aleybongo | 55% | 200 |
| #9 | jwma | 54% | 104 |
| #10 | Eggman23 | 53% | 122 |
| #11 | Λύπη | 52% | 230 |
| #12 | Kmt | 52% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | p0nz | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Turteh | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Aleybongo | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Albanian Demon | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0nz | 1404 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #2 | Turteh | 923 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | Gizelli | 776 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #4 | Kmt | 640 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | Λύπη | 518 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | +2.23 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Albanian Demon | +1.77 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | jwma | +1.47 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | p0nz | +1.17 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Turteh | +0.76 | 73 | 62 |





