








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3897 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2523 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3687 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1939 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,316 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whiteBOY69 | 67% | 54 |
| #2 | jwma | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | p0nz | 63% | 116 |
| #4 | Gizelli | 61% | 92 |
| #5 | shtick | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | housecat | 58% | 214 |
| #7 | Kmt | 56% | 87 |
| #8 | Eggman23 | 55% | 60 |
| #9 | Aleybongo | 52% | 149 |
| #10 | Λύπη | 51% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0nz | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Λύπη | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Aleybongo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Kmt | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | housecat | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | housecat | 887 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | p0nz | 513 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Λύπη | 381 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Gizelli | 314 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kmt | 276 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gizelli | +2.45 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | jwma | +2.00 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | p0nz | +1.60 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | Turteh | +1.12 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | housecat | +0.52 | 81 | 58 |





