








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1633 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1676 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1373 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,636 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Köthe® | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Robert I. | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | machtnix. | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | Amerikano_95 | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Koka 死 | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Koka 死 | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | T o s i c | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ɴ1c0 | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | ⎮⎱千 卂尺 ⎭⎰ | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | dekaz | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koka 死 | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ɴ1c0 | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | machtnix. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Robert I. | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | dekaz | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amerikano_95 | 282 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | ⎮⎱千 卂尺 ⎭⎰ | 199 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Koka 死 | 186 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ɴ1c0 | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | T o s i c | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | machtnix. | +1.54 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | bomsta 😐 | +1.27 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Amerikano_95 | +1.19 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | T o s i c | +0.80 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Köthe® | +0.13 | 56 | 64 |





