








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2428 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2211 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,918 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daniel | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | Lysop | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | machtnix. | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | lenni | 66% | 44 |
| #5 | SUPER MAX | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megalopolik | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SUPER MAX | 4 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Lysop | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | machtnix. | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Brind | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megalopolik | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nata | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | g1bg4b | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Köthe® | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Der Dude | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +5.12 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | megalopolik | +4.16 | 94 | 67 |
| #3 | g1bg4b | +3.82 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | ostelito | +3.62 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | SUPER MAX | +3.44 | 73 | 53 |





