










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8413 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7787 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5451 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6832 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,137 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tulipman | 56% | 209 |
| #2 | Element | 55% | 397 |
| #3 | chron | 54% | 451 |
| #4 | simon | 53% | 191 |
| #5 | remii_ | 51% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Element | 55% | 397 |
| #3 | chron | 54% | 451 |
| #4 | simon | 53% | 191 |
| #5 | remii_ | 51% | 210 |
| #6 | Fullysik | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Element | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | remii_ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | tulipman | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | simon | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Fullysik | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chron | 1461 | 0.15 | 40 min |
| #2 | remii_ | 489 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Element | 488 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #4 | tulipman | 460 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | simon | 446 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +2.70 | 89 | 77 |
| #2 | tulipman | +1.25 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | remii_ | +1.24 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | simon | +0.36 | 86 | 57 |
| #5 | chron | -0.76 | 84 | 66 |





