








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2155 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2144 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2024 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,353 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tulipman | 53% | 147 |
| #2 | simon | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | Element | 51% | 187 |
| #4 | bizkit^ | 51% | 210 |
| #5 | chron | 50% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | simon | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | Element | 51% | 187 |
| #4 | bizkit^ | 51% | 210 |
| #5 | chron | 50% | 198 |
| #6 | Fullysik | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Element | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | tulipman | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | bizkit^ | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | chron | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | simon | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 935 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | chron | 609 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | tulipman | 304 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | simon | 240 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Element | 202 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +2.13 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | remii_ | +1.49 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | tulipman | +1.10 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | simon | +0.25 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | chron | -1.33 | 82 | 68 |





