








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 279 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5228 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5208 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3953 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4900 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,613,142 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tulipman | 54% | 193 |
| #2 | bizkit^ | 54% | 451 |
| #3 | Element | 53% | 355 |
| #4 | Fullysik | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | simon | 51% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bizkit^ | 54% | 451 |
| #3 | Element | 53% | 355 |
| #4 | Fullysik | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | simon | 51% | 174 |
| #6 | remii_ | 50% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Element | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | remii_ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | tulipman | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Fullysik | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | bizkit^ | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 2108 | 0.21 | 64 min |
| #2 | remii_ | 475 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Element | 409 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | simon | 395 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | tulipman | 385 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +2.82 | 89 | 77 |
| #2 | remii_ | +1.18 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | tulipman | +1.06 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | simon | +0.15 | 85 | 56 |
| #5 | chron | -0.49 | 84 | 65 |





