








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2267 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1538 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1973 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2239 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,660 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simon | 59% | 99 |
| #2 | bizkit^ | 56% | 209 |
| #3 | chron | 54% | 193 |
| #4 | Element | 54% | 169 |
| #5 | remii_ | 53% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simon | 59% | 99 |
| #2 | bizkit^ | 56% | 209 |
| #3 | chron | 54% | 193 |
| #4 | Element | 54% | 169 |
| #5 | remii_ | 53% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | remii_ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Element | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | simon | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 987 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #2 | chron | 568 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | remii_ | 342 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | simon | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Element | 177 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +2.05 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | tulipman | +1.35 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | remii_ | +1.24 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | simon | +0.28 | 85 | 56 |
| #5 | chron | -1.05 | 84 | 65 |





