








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1854 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1520 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1625 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,608 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tulipman | 59% | 99 |
| #2 | bizkit^ | 53% | 191 |
| #3 | Element | 52% | 155 |
| #4 | remii_ | 52% | 106 |
| #5 | chron | 51% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bizkit^ | 53% | 191 |
| #3 | Element | 52% | 155 |
| #4 | remii_ | 52% | 106 |
| #5 | chron | 51% | 174 |
| #6 | Fullysik | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Element | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | bizkit^ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | remii_ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | chron | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | tulipman | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 842 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | chron | 567 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | remii_ | 272 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Element | 219 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | tulipman | 212 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +2.07 | 89 | 79 |
| #2 | tulipman | +2.06 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | remii_ | +1.50 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | simon | +0.40 | 86 | 57 |
| #5 | chron | -0.56 | 82 | 69 |





