








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2842 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4662 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4341 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3989 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,531 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 55% | 397 |
| #2 | tulipman | 54% | 169 |
| #3 | Anchors | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | chron | 53% | 355 |
| #5 | simon | 52% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Anchors | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | chron | 53% | 355 |
| #5 | simon | 52% | 155 |
| #6 | remii_ | 51% | 187 |
| #7 | Fullysik | 51% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | remii_ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | tulipman | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Fullysik | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | bizkit^ | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | chron | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | 1812 | 0.21 | 53 min |
| #2 | chron | 1148 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #3 | remii_ | 457 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | simon | 358 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | tulipman | 350 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bizkit^ | +3.02 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | remii_ | +1.56 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | tulipman | +1.13 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | simon | +0.40 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | chron | -0.40 | 85 | 65 |





